I see the light, I see the new Pixelbook…

1 minute read

It’s the year 2017, after many years of false prophets rising and falling, the masses have gathered for what must be the saviour, the one true device that will bring us all the anticipated freedom we cry out for...

Captain, is it true? Are we at the dawn of a new way of working? Are we all going to be using the one device that will save us all? Who do we worship? Who do we praise?

Heathens! All gather and meet your new liberator, meet the Pixelbook (it’s the written word, so you’ll just have to imagine the choir and inspirational singing in the background). All hail the new Pixelbook and all praise the true believers, the ones who never faltered, those known collectively as the Google.

How do we know this it not mere trickery? Is this really the chosen one? The Pixelbook is no ordinary device, it bends, it stands and it works tirelessly for you all day. Do not burden yourself with the other falsehoods out there for the Pixelbook weighs a mere 1.1 kg (2.4 lbs) and is only a lean 10.3 mm.

It is truly a new age, for you may now utter words to your Pixelbook to truly become one with it, this is what the noble ones call Google Assistant. You may now become the scribe, use the pen wisely for it will allow you to move leaps and bounds by not being constrained by the keys of yesteryear.

The pen of course is included with the Pixelbook…err, wait a minute, no no, the pen isn’t included with the Pixelbook. What! The pen’s $99 extra! Err, moving on, the great Pixelbook, the…

Please excuse me, I had to stop my eyes from watering, no these are not tears of joy, I just saw the price of the actual Pixelbook, it starts at $999! Google, you almost had me, you almost managed to lure me into your fold, to make me a true believer.

I don’t know about you dear reader but around $99 for a pen seems too much of a price to pay for what seemed like the one device that would be humanity’s new hope.